5 Things that got me through my 1st month as a Mom

I can’t believe my little Elia is already a month old! It’s such a weird feeling because I honestly can’t remember my life before her. It’s confusing, intense and amazing all at the same time.

Navigating this new chapter in my life has been one of the more difficult things I’ve ever done. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had some major failures and awesome successes. Some days I feel like super woman and others (when she’s having an inconsolable meltdown), I feel like I’m the most horrible mother alive. I imagine these highs and lows are preparing me for the future and it’s only going to get more complex as she gets older and her personality starts to develop.

Despite feeling like a total disaster on the inside, many of you have sent wonderful messages to me asking me how I’m able to do it all. First off, thank you. Nothing makes a new mom feel better than others telling her she looks and seems great. While I’m still learning every day, I thought I would share 5 things that have made my process a little bit easier. I hope they help you!

1. Using the Ergo Baby Swaddle: Picture this. It’s 3 am, I just left the hospital delivery unit after a long 24 hour-long labor and I’m up in my recovery room. The nurse comes in, removes Elia’s swaddle to put on her hospital bands and then leaves the room. Instantly, my baby girl starts crying hysterically and I know she needs to be re-swaddled. The problem? I have no freaking clue how to do that.

I decided to use my bff, GOOGLE (which was no help) and ended up with my own version of a make-shift swaddle using my only hair tie to tighten it. Needless to say, it was a mess (both my hair and the swaddle) and it ended up coming un-done 5 minutes later.

Then, it hit me. In my suitcase I had packed the Ergo Baby Swaddle (which to be honest was a completely foreign object to me before this moment) and I thought I’d give that one a try. Less than 30 seconds later, Elia was swaddled up tight and finally gave this mama a few hours of sleep to recover. It has a really easy-to-use velcro system that you can do with no instructions or guidance. Needless to say, the Ergo Baby Swaddle is my new BFF (sorry GOOGLE) and Miss. Elia wears it every single night to bed. It’s also been really helpful to calm her down when she’s overtired during the day and needs to relax quickly. My advice, buy at least two so that if one is dirty, you have a back-up. I promise, you’ll want it.

2. Take 10 minutes to put on makeup every single day: Even in my darkest, most painful days post labor, I always managed to take a few minutes to put on a little bit of makeup. Now, I’m not spending tons of time perfecting my contour or cat eye, but I am throwing on a little bit of BB cream, some powder and sweep of mascara. I’ve just always believed that when you look good, you feel good and for me, it’s helped me start to feel like myself again much quicker.

Now if you think you don’t have time, think again. I’ve done my makeup while on the toilet (hey we all gotta go), while breast pumping and even in the bathtub. Learn to multi-task! It will be worth it.

3. Make “non-baby” time for your significant other: Even though you guys are on a 6-week hiatus (if you know what I mean), it doesn’t mean you can’t take a little time to be romantic. Make sure you are spending a little bit of time each day where you and you partner don’t talk about the baby at all. It’s so easy to get caught up with all the in’s and out’s of care taking and pretty soon, you will find the passion between you has gone away.

Since Dan and I both work full-time and aren’t able to take time off, we made the decision to have a night nurse that comes a few days a week to help us overnight. We make sure to take full advantage of that time! Whether it’s catching up on one of our favorite shows, having a little make-out sesh (sorry Mom & Dad) or just cuddling up close, we make it a point to use that time to keep our relationship passionate.

Even if you don’t have help, take a half hour when you put the baby down to spend with each other. It might feel weird at first, but in the end, it’s going to make you a much happier person.

4. Plan outings with friends (and take the baby)!: The best part about having a newborn (besides the fact that they are so adorable) is that they sleep ALL the time. Take advantage! Take the baby out to lunch or dinner with friends. Elia comes with me everywhere and being around my friends has really helped to make this transition into motherhood feel a lot less overwhelming.

I’ll admit, the first time I took her out on my own, I was so stressed out. I thought about it the whole night before and the whole morning leading up to it. I was trying to time everything perfectly and praying that she would make it without a melt down. My best advice? Enlist the help of a good friend to get you through the first outing. Once you get past the first one, the rest are going to seem so easy. Just make sure you have all the essentials packed in the diaper bag (including that Ergo Baby Swaddler I mentioned earlier).

5. Just breathe and trust your intuition.: Being a Mom is hands down the most complex job on the planet. One day it’s monotonous and the next it’s wildly overwhelming and confusing. If I have one major piece of advice to you during the first month, it’s to trust that you’re doing an amazing job. No one knows your baby like you do. I mean, he/she lived inside of you for 10 months for gods-sake! Whenever I feel defeated or emotional, I try to remind myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m doing the absolute best I can. I know the day that Elia finally smiles back at me, it will all feel worth it.

If you are interested in seeing more of  my day-to-day life as a Mommy, make sure you follow me on Instagram at @everythingerica and on Snapchat: ERICAECKMAN.

Love always,
Erica